Turkey Porn 

Thanksgiving

The best part of Thanksgiving in Germany... the stores are open for all those last minute things like carrots or sweet potatoes or vodka. At least until 8 pm.

Thanksgiving has to be one of the most overrated American holidays. I mean, growing up, it was fun. I got a day off school or work. I would get a free good meal, eat dessert and leave with a bag of leftovers. No clean up, no cooking, no fuss. My apartment didn't need to be cleaned before I left. I didn't need fifteen million kitchen appliances. All I needed was a microwave and a plate.

Well, Karma exists and this year, Karma came for dinner.

I really wanted to have dinner at our house, thinking it couldn't be that complicated. I could do all the side dishes and the turkey couldn't be all that hard. Well, it was. And what ever happened to who ever cooks doesn't have to clean up. And thank god we have a dishwasher, because it could have been even more miserable. Those poor fucking pilgrims, man.

It started with two days of cleaning, even with our cleaning lady doing the floors, bathroom and all the surfaces, I was cleaning forever. Then I cooked for two days. Then I cleaned for another day.

Markus spent most of the time chasing kids telling them not to touch the walls or push the buttons we have for light switches, wiping up water off the marble in the bathroom after the kids wash their hands. Hand washing is a requirement of my dear crazy husband. if i so much as touch a wall with a finger, he gets all itchy and scratchy. he really is a bit mad.

Our house is actually a loft in an old mill built in 1641. 12-foot ceilings and exposed brick, minimal furniture and light colors. Everything we do have is large, expensive and very difficult to keep clean when little hands are loose.

Markus spent the 30 minutes cleaning real and imagined stains off the sofa with Windex wet wipes after our friends left.

So, thanksgiving was exactly how it should have been, I'm told. That's it. No more. If I want a turkey, I’ll make one without the hassle of t-day, kids or anal retentive husbands.

Another great thing about Thanksgiving in Germany

Night of Terror

so, I've been on pins and needles all day with this election, right? And Markus has been working all day. So we go and get stuff for paninis and a couple of movies to chill out with. Popcorn movies, nothing that would require brain cells.

I chose Shanghais Knights and Markus chose The Day After Tomorrow. The Day After Tomorrow. can I tell you, it got my mind off the election. And on to emergency supplies and extra cat food and -20° parkas and what would we do if this ice age should hit.

OH MY GOD. I tried to explain to Markus that I really should not watch natural disaster films. or films about nuclear war or any film where people die or are about to die. In fact, Winnie the Poo is about as much suspense as I can take. You know the part where he takes the balloon up to get the honey from the honey bees and says "tut, tut, it looks like rain." that is scary enough for me. Yessiree bob. Give me winnie any day.

One really big perk to living in Germany is the lack of natural disasters including, but not limited to, Tsunamis. I thought I was safe. I thought I could let go of the anxiety. Well, no more. The ice age is coming and I am so not prepared. At least my family in San Franscio could make it to Mexico in time. Well, shanghi knights should bring some levity to the remainder of the night, right?