99 Things

1. I was born with black hair


2. My natural hair color now is light brown.


3. I have green eyes


4. I have Italian Hips


5. I have three cats


6. I once sang “My Favorite Things” in a school talent contest.  I did not win.


7. I don’t have a nickname.


8. I’ve always wanted to be a spy, but I can’t keep a secret.


9. I think stealing artwork is romantic.


10. My first job was scooping ice cream.


11. My second job was serving frozen yogurt


12. I love ice cream and hate frozen yogurt


13. I scare easily and frequently.


14. I believe in the supernatural.


15. I cannot watch scary movies without fast-forwarding, especially if they contain the supernatural.


16. I screamed during “The Others”.


17. When I laugh too hard, I pee my pants.


18. I lick the bottom of cookies I give to people I don’t like.


19. I am a terrible liar.  


20. I kiss my cat more than my husband


21. A group of Japanese tourists photographed me falling down on Post Street.


22. I have opened my front door for a stranger wearing nothing but S&M gear.


23. I must eat chocolate everyday. Period.


24. I like cat breath.


25. My favorite city is San Francisco.


26. My second favorite city is Berlin.


27. I always wanted to be “Jesse’s Girl”


28. There are pictures of my boobs on the internet that I did not take.


29. I gave my aunt a cock ring and told her it was a bracelet


30. I’m the oldest child.


31. I read voraciously


32. I’ve read Fountainhead


33. I like to poke my husband in the ribs and watch him get irritated.


34. I got tear gassed on my honeymoon in Paris.


35. I fart when being chased.


36. I fart when I fall.


37. I love trampolines.


38. I have an extraordinary sense of smell.


39. I am legally blind without my glasses.


40. When I meet someone I find sexy-attractive, I can’t speak


41. I blush when I lie


42. I never wanted to get married.


43. I’m now happy I did.


44. I have a crush on my husband  - boring, but true.


45. I have burned my nose smelling scented candles.


46. I put laxatives in almost every meal I make for my brother, just for fun.


47. I love a good practical joke


48. I like to write in the dark.


49. I can’t shower in the dark because that’s when serial killers strike.


50. When I get out of a pool, I run fast so the sharks don’t bite my ankles.


51. I’m vehemently pro-choice


52. I always vote.


53. I was a Young Republican at one time.


54. I’m now a staunch Democrat


55. I’ve been agoraphobic.


56. My car ran into a woman in a wheelchair and pinned her on her TommyLift  


57. I was not in the car at the time.


58. I believe that all women should go through a slut period before settling down.


59. I believe in reincarnation


60. I’m terrified of lightning, the underrated killer


61. Before I moved to Germany, I loved lightning


62. I make dead mother jokes


63. My mom is dead


64. I have 1 brother, 1 sister and 1 step-brother


65. I have a step-mom, step-dad and a dad


66. I’m an expensive date


67. I’m a cheap drunk


68. I love board games


69. I like to play cards


70. My brother and I had to cheat to beat our four-year-old sister at BS.


71. I used to work for an investment bank.


72. I volunteered to go to work at 5 am because I could leave at 2pm and not have to deal with co-workers for very long.


73. I generally dislike people


74. I’m a good driver


75. I’m learning to speak German.


76. I’ve been to the Folsom Street Fair


77. I hate Disneyland


78. I leave q-tips out for my cat to play with to annoy my husband


79. I backed a boyfriend’s sports car into a pole and blamed it on “some fool in the parking lot.”


80. I used to frequent dive bars because I liked the dirty seediness.


81. I liked going home from dive bars because it made me appreciate what I had.


82. I like the colors black, blue and green


83. I recently started to love the color red.


84. I can listen to Tori Amos 24/7 and never get tired of her.


85. I love Air Supply’s greatest hits


86. I hate musicians who “Made It” without suffering


87. I believe in the local bookstore


88. I feel guilty when I order on Amazon.


89. I hate going to the gym


90. I once found $80 cash on the floor in a crowded bar.


91. I like roller coasters


92. I love the beach


93. I love San Franciscan Seafood


94. I will dance for an El Faro Burrito


95. I used to put make-up on my very unwilling little brother


96. I’ve only seen Paris at night


97. I once hit reply instead of forward on an e-mail with sexually deviant suggestions about a senior executive of our firm.  The executive, not my co-worker, was the recipient.


98. I fall frequently.


99. My mom made me take ballet to help with my balance.  It didn’t work.