Running in Socks

I was racing around last night packing my goodies suitcase when a wall came to my rescue. Socks, polished hardwood floors, arms full of jam jars. If not for that wall, who knows what chaos could have ensued.

I don’t understand why, after months of anticipation, I waited until the week before I leave to do any sort of preparation. I’m racing around. I’m even making lists while working out. It’s crazy. And Sparky is out of town until tomorrow and I leave Friday so I’m making lists and notes for his solo stay and poop scooping duties. One would think he’d know how to scoop the poop by now, but no.

So to catch up… (ellipse brought to you by the letter Hamish)

Bonn: Tons of fun. Lots of new people. I tried to mingle enough to get to know them, but there just wasn’t enough time to satisfy my curiosity.

Sparky got to see Mausi and Sparky looooves Mausi, an Internet crush I totally support.

J is a superb host and tour guide. I say he decides where we go every year. Not that he has to tour guide us every time, but he’s got great ideas.

I talked way too much and hopefully didn’t offend anyone. I was also a tad bit bossy. I know, totally outside my normal behavior pattern. I think my first report card in Kindergarten said I was very energetic and bossy. The teacher actually used the word bossy. She didn’t even couch it in “has leadership qualities” or something similar. Some things never change.

Amsterdam: Sparky and I made a day/night trip to A’dam. It was lovely and a city we need to go back to when I’m not flipping out about the sheer number of people and Bikes. I felt like I was in a game of Frogger trying to cross the narrow alleyways.

I also ate a traditional meal. It only took two hours of walking around to find a place that served traditional food, but it was worth it. I think I’ve caught up on Mim’s country count and at this point Jeffy is so far behind, I should stop making videos of my meals with the word "Bitches" in it.

Thanksgiving: was phenomenal. The turkey was christened Rhianna this year. Our first female. The reason? She was young, luscious, juicy and a total bitch. She didn’t thaw in time, despite my timely removal from the freezer. I had to give her a bath every thirty minutes until she thawed out. I think she said something about Jay-Z coming to kick my ass, but by that time, she was brined and stuffed and I was on the phone with Beyoncé.

Scrunchy tried to get in on the action. He likes to sit on the glass in the kitchen when I cook and wait for me to turn my back so he can lick stuff. He lost his perch rights when he stuck his head into Rhianna's nether regions. And yes, I did wash her again.

Rhianna live up to her name and even though there was a momentary panic with the temp (I forgot to convert 165°F to Celsius and couldn’t understand what was taking the bird so long to cook), she was so juicy it looked like I had sprayed her with glycerin for a photo shoot.

Then I dropped the apple pie. Sparky scooped it up and ate it, but the rest of us, Hamish, J and I, declined. Cat hair.

Five burns (three major) and only one cut later, dinner was done. Sparky took the guys to the train station and then finished cleaning up the kitchen wearing only my apron. That was a highlight.

Which brings us to the present.

I finished all my Christmas shopping yesterday. All of it. Thank you Visa and thank you Internet. Most packages will arrive wrapped. This means more play time in SF.

I am now off to the gym. It’s possible to lose 20 pounds in three days, right?

P.S. Blogger is sucking ass this morning. I can't get this thing published and I got to get going.