Slo Mo Stumble

First of all, thank you for all the responses to Sparky’s green query. We have three computers and on two it looks a little bright to my bad eyes. On my laptop, its quite nice and easy to read, but on Sparky’s the color is a lot brighter. I just didn’t want to force the color on other eyeballs.

This week started out very badly. It was kinda like a stumble. You know, the toe of your shoe catches on the rug and its just a little stumble, but the more you try to right yourself, the more top heavy momentum you pick up until you run headfirst into the wall or fall, ungraciously and painfully, twisting life and limb. When you come to, you’re not quite sure how it happened.

Monday morning I woke thinking it was Friday. I didn’t know why, but I did. And the week just got worse. I had so many plans, so much to do, yet all I wanted was a big bowl of Ben&Jerry’s and a few good movies. Instead, I just pushed on, one leg heavily in front of the other until finally Friday came and went.

I’m about ready to drop kick Cleo and Fin. The two of them have conspired to drive me mad. I thought cats were supposed to sleep. I thought it was like 20 hours of naps with cats. It seems that these two do not need to sleep, especially when I need it. If I should think to sleep in, they quickly break me of that thought. God damned cats. I have to keep telling myself “Don’t shake the baby. DON’T shake the baby!”

And Fin is teething all over my arms, hands and toes. He’s a monster. I’ve never had a cat like him before. He’s cat control for me. No more kittens, ever. I’m just sitting peacefully and before you know it, he’s George Bush and the back of my arm is an oil field. And kitten teeth really hurt. I can feel his little jaw trembling, trying to figure out exactly how hard he can bite without being hurdled across the room.

I’m starting to think human babies might be the way to go.

Sparky was OOT for a record 4 days. I had the house, homework, and cats to myself. Anyone who knows Sparky can attest to his anal retentive nature. I, however, suffer from more of the loose bowel condition. When Sparky is gone, I can kick my shoes off as I walk in the house only to find them in the same place later. I wrote all about it here a while ago. The four days were nice, but my schedule was thrown off. I’m not exactly talented at self-discipline, so things might have gone a little wonky around here. It might have helped my week to have some structure.

I’ve had so much German homework. Still do. I’m really going crazy with it. I’ve gone from head of the class to 2nd to the bottom, only the Somali lady who just learned to read and write is below me. After class, I’ve been busting my ass to absorb more and more Deutsch.

When I said I wasn’t so good with foreign language, I really meant it. I wasn’t being coy or lazy. I really suck. Part of the problem is my brain. I cannot learn anything by rote. I need to understand and comprehend. I can’t comprehend Deutsch because everything is irregular. So as soon as I get one rule down and learn the basics, the irregularities pop up like kids at Neverland. So I just hit the books harder. That’s all I can do, I guess, save for paying someone to take the tests for me.

I pay well, just drop me an email. Kidding… just kidding. If I did that, I’d also have to pay you to speak to my mother-in-law and I just don’t have that kind of money.

And lastly, I just could not look at my computer for another second. With Sparky traveling the countryside, it was only me in a lonely red room. Me and the damn cats jumping on the keyboard and drinking the water out of vases, knocking over piles of papers, fighting, knocking books out of the bookshelves, fighting and being otherwise obnoxious.

Two cats for the price of one right now, OBO.