Commitment By Any Other Name

I have a fear of commitment. You might not guess that as I’m MARRIED and moved 6000 miles to live with that man, but its true.

For example:

I don’t watch movies over 90 minutes, too much of a commitment.
I don’t go on long walks that don’t include a treadmill, too much of a commitment.
I don’t join clubs that might depend on me in any way, too much of a commitment.
I teach ONE hour a week, too much of a commitment.
I don’t cook meals that take longer than 60 minutes. This is an improvement; it used to be 7 minutes.


When I got married, Sparky was all sweetness and light, even after I made him promise he wasn’t gay as we crossed the street to City Hall, minutes before the I Do’s. He was so eager to be married, married to me, he jumped the gun when the justice of the peace took a pause in reciting the vows to take a breath.

“I will, I do. Yes, Yes. Yes.”

He was/is every bride’s dream groom.

I, on the other hand was sweating as if I was stepping up to a firing squad. My knees were shaking so much, there was the distinct possibility I might fall down the 50 marble steps we stood above. And at the time I loved that man more than I imagined possible but I had no idea that I would love him so much more every day. I had no doubt I wanted to be with him, but the idea of being a “wife” made me a bit squeamish. Marriage is a really BIG commitment. I mean, really, I only want to do this once, you know.

Anyway, since the BIG one, I feel I’ve committed enough.

So my plans for the next two months might surprise you.

I’ve committed to German lessons. Montag bis Freitag, 9 Uhr bis 13 Uhr. I have to call in if I’m going to miss a class.

Then, if that wasn’t commitment enough, I’ve decided to participate in NaNoWriMo.

A novel in 30 days. I’ve been toying with the idea of a novel for years. I have a working title. I have about 3 pages written, tons of notes, outlines ideas, but I’m more of a blog writer these days. Anything more is just too much of a commitment.

So come October and November I will be a busy beaver.

Do you know the leading cause of death in Beavers? Commitment.