A Jenny is the Female Member of the Ass Family

I'm frantically racing around preparing for my trip. I feel like I should bring home exotic spices and fine fabrics like they used to when traveling abroad, but I live in Germany. There are no exotic spices here and we have acrylic fiber in the States. My carry-on is filled with bottles of alcohol. Man, if the plane goes down, I'll be gulping Montebello.

Its funny. When I first scheduled this trip I was so excited, I could hardly wait. Now with the plane ride just two days away, I'’m dreading it. Why? Because Mexican food always has a price.

I'’m staying at the family compound and the current list of occupants includes Step dad, 2 brothers, 1 sister, a standard poodle (her diminished mental capacity directly correlates to her energy level), two squawking birds, an errant feral rat, miscellaneous insects and flying fauna and a partridge in a pear tree.

All four of us kids will be there, as adults, in our childhood home, minus the housekeeper and the mom. It'’s a mess.

The house is in a state of flux. My step-dad is moving closer to work and my sister is going to college. My brothers were going to move into the spacious five-bedroom house with a huge yard and swimming pool at the end of Aug. They would keep the house together so we could still have holidays and my sister could have a place to come home to during summers etc... Extenuating circumstances moved my brothers home a month ago, 2 months before schedule which has left the poor house jammed to the gills.

Jeff has most of his stuff and my left over stuff in the backyard under a tarp. He calls it his "Mound of Disappointment"”. There is literally no space in the house to put a single box. I have no idea where David has his stuff. Mim has never lifted a finger for household chores in her life.

The timing of this trip was based on the idea that I would help clean up/clean out the house, organize my sister for college and see her off in NY. And I really could not go very much longer without decent eye make-up remover. A brand I can only get in the states.

I'’m sleeping on the sofa. I knew this as all the rooms are taken. I was just informed that room the comfy sofa is in, is sometimes occupied at night by the errant rat.

This trip can be really fun or it can be closer to the IX circle of hell. And that is exactly what I am willing to do for a burrito.